ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This is classic penis vs brain.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
