So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
