I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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