wat bout pragnant strippers??
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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