I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
