I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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