butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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