Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
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Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
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People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize