why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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