So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
