we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
