Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
