hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I cockslap morals
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
