Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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