i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So much rum. So many feels.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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