Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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