She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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