Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
