Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize