Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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