But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize