It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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