Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
