I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
