I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
