It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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