I hope mine doesn't look like that
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
