Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
