he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
