i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
