It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
