then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i came on her dog
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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