so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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