she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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