Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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