I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize