I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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