he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
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You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
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This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize