two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
should my penis look like a turkey
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
