No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
