We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
my poor anus
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
try to milk me bitch
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