are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
