She is in my trunk
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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