I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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