this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize