No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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