Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
