Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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