The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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