he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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