I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
