Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
