he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
