I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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