At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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