Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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