Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
