I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
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I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
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Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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