I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I've blown a few things in my day
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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