If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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